My soapbox

I LOVE YOU. There I said it. Does it have meaning to you when I say it? Most likely not. You know why? Because you probably don't know me well enough to really care.

It is a pet peeve of mine that drives me bonkers. When people (I wish I could say it was only teens, but it's not) say "I love you" as soon as they can. Hey I just met you. I think I love you. So call me maybe. No wonder many girls have such low self esteem. They wear their hearts on their sleeves and go crazy when the feeling isn't reciprocated. When I first watched Twilight (back in 2008..I can't believe it's been that long ago), I cringed at the scene after Edward and Bella broke up. She went into this deep dark isolation because a boy rejected her. Really? It was hard for me to watch, but that was what many girls do when someone rejects them (even if the relationship was only a few weeks long).
I'm a fan of chick flicks and sappy love songs, but I know that those aren't real life. That isn't what a relationship is about.

To me love is a big deal. I have told 2 guys in my life that I love them. One was my high school boyfriend that I dated almost a year. It took me quite a while to get around to saying it to him. And the other one is my husband. I actually told him I loved him about 5 months into dating him. It was Christmas time and I was getting ready to head to Ukraine for what I thought could be a year (it turned out to be 5 months) and I wanted him to know my heart before I left. He didn't say it back (which was a little hard at the time), but you know what? It felt so good to hear it when I got home. He waited to tell me in person and it meant so much to me. We had been through a lot in that almost year. I mean we dated on different continents for 5 months and survived and were able to grasp what it really meant to love each other. 

This blog post idea was the result of too much thinking about the latest Bachelor episode while I was doing dishes(yes, I'm a sucker for the Bachelor even though I have this pet peeve). It got me thinking about real love. Not this I'm dating 30 girls to find my real love. Not this "I have only known you 10 minutes but I stalked you on Facebook before now so I love you". But real love. 

I can think of many examples. 

My parents. I grew up in a great family with parents who have been married for 41 years. They were a great example to us about love. They demonstrated it to each other and to us. They helped make us confident which I believe has helped in our marriages. They showed us commitment. They showed us it is ok to argue, but the importance of apologizing and forgiving. 

My husband. We have been married a fraction of the years my parents have (6 years), but he has helped me a lot. He works hard while I am a stay at home mom (both are hard jobs). He builds me up at just the right times. He has taught me that the "typical" romantic gestures aren't really what love is about. It is so much more. It is being there in the thick and the thin. It is having someone to complain to when you are so sleep deprived when your baby wakes up every 2 hours. It is having someone to cry with when a close mentor is sick and passing. It is being comfortable to fart around the other person. It is being ok with not going out and just watching our latest show together. It is someone to do life with every single day. 

God. God is love. His very existence is love. And He demonstrated love by sending His son on earth to die for our sins-the sins that should have been our death sentence. 

We've all heard the love chapter in 1 Corinthians. But it never gets old. 

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

The very first thing to describe love is patient. We need to be patient. We need to take the time to see if our relationships will turn out to be patient, kind, not jealous, not boastful or proud or rude. Take the time to make sure that it doesn't demand its own way, isn't irritable or keeps no record of being wronged. Make sure it doesn't rejoice about injustice but will rejoice when truth wins out. Make sure that it won't give up, lose faith, is hopeful and will endure through every life circumstance. That is what love is about. Be patient. There is no need to rush into it. Whether you are 12, 18, 29, or 41. Give love time.

13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.